


Being human

by UngarnMoc



Series: This is where we come alive [5]
Category: Tomb Raider (Video Games)
Genre: And love, Animal Death, Attack, Blood, F/M, Fear, self-doubts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 19:08:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17586650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UngarnMoc/pseuds/UngarnMoc
Summary: As they face the jungle, the wilderness will test both of them, like never before - for Lara failing is not an option, but was it fair to drag Jacob into this mess?





	Being human

**Author's Note:**

> Hi :D
> 
> It was really long time dear readers, but I am still here :D And will be here, even if taking a bit longer breaks between two updates. Life is really busy, but I try my best.
> 
> This one takes after the plane crash and the first double jaguar attack + losing the pilot.
> 
> \- Still not native speaker  
> \- This means there are mistakes I cannot detect  
> \- Because I have no beta either

The jungle was nothing similar to anything, what Jacob saw before. He saw the great city, Byzantium full of people and life, with all the knowledge and architecture and also greediness and hungry for power, everything good and bad humanity were managed to create. The infinite sea of sand in Syria where the heat could drive you crazy and made you see thing in the vibrating air – but also offered peace and isolation. He saw the harsh coldness of Siberia, great leaders who come and conquer and destroy. Saw death, so much death. As a man who lived thousands lives and thousands more he thought nothing could surprise him anymore.

But the jungle was different.

A tropical forest as Lara and all the books described it to be, he read when he did his own research about the place they were heading to. But nothing, not he books or Lara could describe it correctly.

Standing between the huge trees, touching the sky with their branches - seemed like they try the exact same thing what humans tried with the Tower of Babel; reaching God itself - and forming an impenetrable living and never ending wall, hearing the noises coming from every direction made Jacob realize it wasn’t only a forest. It was a breathing, living thing, every inch of it was full of life and danger.

Jacob lived in the wilderness in most of his life and knew exactly well when his position as a predator switched to a simple prey. And he was prey now - from the moment their plane crashed from the sky and landed right in the jungle’s embracing arms, waiting to push them into its arena. He was here, alone and lost, quickly realizing what he really was here: just _meat_ for others. It frightened him, knowing there were other, stronger predators who wouldn’t hesitate to hunt him down, but it was also very… fascinating feeling as well. Strangely he _was_ part of the forest – him at the bottom of the food chain, but still part of it, of the whole circle. A participant in the great survival game of life and there was no time out to get used to it. Was already in and playing and it was up to him – to them – to keep themselves alive.

Themselves; it was a great reminder of his loneliness and of the fact that Jacob had a very limited chance to see another day if he stays alone. Needed to find the others – for a moment, fear gripped his heart, worrying for the woman who led him here; he needed to find Lara to see if she was alive and well.

But right before this fear could take over his mind a simple information gave him hope; she was Lara Croft. Of course she was alive. Remembering very well how strong she was in Siberia, how fierce and deadly she was, almost reassured him Lara was still alive. Maybe not really well, but still alive. Jacob had more reasons to worry about his own wellbeing than Lara’s. But he still wanted to find her and see if she was still in one piece.

But where he should go? Looked around to find some kind of hint, some kind of sign to find the right track, back to her. Unfortunately, this terrain was so foreign to him almost alien. Honestly, not just almost. He didn’t know this land, didn’t know how to read this forest, how to find food, moreover what was food and what not. What meant danger and what not.

Couldn’t see anything else only the rich vegetation in various, vivid colours. Nothing unusual, no hint which direction he should choose. Maybe for the first time in a long-long time Jacob didn’t really know what to do. Felt how despair slowly crawled its way up from the pitch of his stomach toward his throat to grip it forcefully, when he heard it. Faintly at first, but he definitely heard it; through the forest’s sounds; the noise of the insects hiding under leaves and the barks of trees, eating or looking after something to eat, the monkey’s cries as they looked after each other and let the others know if there was any danger or not, the colourful birds’ chattering above him, sitting high on the branches, and some strange, deep voice, like an aggressive, constant growling and the feeling of a pair of eyes on him – Jacob could hear something very familiar: the voice of a female and the urge to answer to her was too overwhelming.

“LARA!” he answered to her call, asking her to repeat it, so he can find her, following her voice.

Moments of silence and there she was again, getting closer to him, saying his name again. Leaving the spot behind where Jacob woke up and faced with the jungle for the very first time in his life, ran through the tropical forest, until he saw her figure, covered in mud and blood, but alive.

There was nothing that could stop him to sprint to her and embrace her, thanking God she was there and he could find her or more like she found him, they found each other, maybe squeezing her a bit too hard, but just didn’t want to let her go.

Could he use to this, this constant fear of losing her? It was a familiar feeling, first experienced it in Siberia and when Trinity slowly got closer to them this fear was always with him. Now, it returned and it wasn’t easier to endure it. Still, she was the one who voiced her relief.

“I thought I got you killed.” mumbled against him, voice a bit shaking and weak, making it difficult to understand her, but the way she clung to him was more than enough to get what she meant to say.

A small chuckle escaped from him. “You need to work harder if you want to get rid of me.”

Finally pushing away from her a bit, examined her form just to be sure she was okay. Looking at her this closely Jacob saw how fresh bandages covered her injuries: the worry was instantly back.

“Are you okay?” asked and he already reached out to check on the wounds, but she gently stopped his hands.

“I am fine.” she even gave him a smile, still was able to charm him with a simple show of affection – even if she was covered in mud and fresh wounds. But then there was it again; the remorse of making a bad decision and Jacob knew Lara was already punishing herself mentally for it.

She insisted to head into the storm, because she was so driven, forgot to consider the consequences. Forgot to consider they could die. She put Jacob’s life at risk, something was the most precious thing to her now, only because she felt the urge to go forward and never even doubted her decision. She did this willingly, only because she was way too excited to get ahead of Trinity. She was gambling with his life for what? To win a few hours against her enemies. _Hours_.

“Don’t.” Jacob stopped her even before she could open her mouth to apologize. “We all do mistakes Lara. But you need to learn from them – that is the way how you will be better and better. But self-pitying won’t help us now.”

They had this conversation in Kitezh too, but Lara was still young and still very stubborn; sometimes needed some reminder. Now she looked like a student who did the same mistakes twice, hating it. The forever perfectionist. No mistakes were allowed in her world. It was something what she developed over the relationship with her father, wanting to be his perfect daughter – now more than the time when he was alive. Like she could make up for past mistakes if she becomes perfect now.

Lara looked down, unable to stand his gaze on her, although he wasn’t judging her, but she knew Jacob was able to see through her and see how vulnerable she was for real.

“I just… Sometimes I feel like I have to keep going… and if I don’t I’ll just let everyone down…” It was a small progress to her, admitting her weaknesses. Something they both worked hard for and she trusted Jacob enough to let him in.

“But… maybe for a sake of a few hours, we could have turn back.”

He couldn’t disagree with her – all Jacob could offer was a gentle smile. She still learned how to be wiser and not too hectic, rushing into everything. But Lara wasn’t a lost cause at all. And the way how she could just shake herself and put everything aside to concentrate on the task ahead of her was quite amazing.

“We should go. If we can find Kuwaq Yaku we can rest for the night.”

~

Walking through the jungle was easier to say than do – the rich vegetation what Jacob adored hours before turned this trip into a living hell; it slowed them down, vines curled around their feet and made them trip, threatening them to sprain an ankle, not to mention the insects and snakes hiding among the plants, ready to defend themselves or get under their skin and do nasty things once they were there. Navigation was also tricky, the forest seemed to be just the same in every direction. And the heat plus the humidity was more tiring than Jacob first thought.

Looking forward, Lara also had her own troubles with the wilderness, but she kept pushing, just like she did in Russia. No matter if the temperature was below the freezing point or above the ideal and comfortable level, she did not stop. Always found a way through the vines and leaves, if there was an obstacle in front of her she figured her way out, finding another route. Luckily it didn’t get way too tricky yet; they could clear their path with raw force – they were a good team, even if Jacob mostly let Lara do her things alone – that was how she worked best. Whenever she needed his help she will say anyway. And right now she needed his muscle mass, to lift heavy stones up a bit, what blocked their way.

“I start to think you only brought me here because of my strength.” complained teasingly before lifting the heavy weight with her help and be ready to keep it up alone, let her climb under it.

“Well, I have to admit, your body was part of my reasons.” laughed then got down to the ground and rolled to the other side, grabbed the heavy stone to keep it in the air while he followed.

He didn’t see it coming. He should, but he didn’t and he will never forgive it to himself.

She just turned around and reached down to take the weight over from him when something big grabbed her from behind, bit into her leg and drag her away, like a rag doll, into the ankle-deep mud. Lara screamed from mixture of surprise and pain – those screams will haunt him for a time. She was so… scared, not knowing what happens, only felt something heavy was on her and it was biting her, literally eating her up alive. Lara tried to crawl away, but the thing was on her again, started to maul her, ripping her clothes, skin and flesh - maybe even pieces of flesh out of her.

It was a big spotted cat, similar to the leopards Jacob saw in the Middle East, but the pattern of the animal was different. Didn’t really matter what it was exactly, the only thing mattered he needed to get over to her and now, needed to help her or the cat will devour her in front of his eyes.

_“LARA!”_

He yelled her name over and over again, felt how the panic slowly took over him. Tried to pull up the heavy stone block, but he couldn’t lift it alone – it was way too heavy. No, no, nonono, he needed to get over her!

Giving up on the powerlifting, tried to find another way to Lara, but branches made him fail again; they were too thick to break them and had nothing to help him out. The noises of the fighting on the other side; her screams and the cat’s growling, those ripping sounds what made him sick and dizzy urge him to think about something and fast. As for the last option, started to search in his pockets to find _anything_ what can be useful now. Fingers found something solid and heavy, pulled it out to see what was that, hopefully a knife, a very big one. He had to be disappointed, because it was the orange flare gun – Jonah gave it to him, just in case. After having two adventures with Lara, he knew a flare gun was always handy.

Jacob didn’t really think about it for a long time; pushed it through the branches, close to of her.

~

It didn’t take long. Either way she dies there or the cat does the same, there was no other option. And even if Jacob respected nature and everything what lived in it, he really hoped Lara will win this fight.

Her brain blocked the pain or dulled it just enough to let her act – Lara couldn’t tell. The adrenaline was high in her blood now and she used every minute of it. Despite her serious injuries she kept moving and somehow managed to crawl away from the jaguar, rising her elbow and hit into its muzzle hard, making it hiss and also stopped it to keep biting her. Clearly the cat did not expect such a resistance, probably thinking she will be an easy meal and now a moment of confusion gave her just enough time to get away from it and find her footing.

She didn’t mind her serious injuries – her back was all red from the blood, pouring from her deep wounds. Ignored the pain that was hitting her hard every time when she raised the bow to shoot into the jaguar – but it did not stand still and waited for her to take its life. Tried to get behind her again or just grab her with the massive paws armed with huge claws. Lara really needed to keep herself away from it because if the cat manages to get her down to the earth again and close its jaw around her neck, the game is over.

Killing a fast and agile predator with a simple bow was not an easy task, but it wasn’t harder than kill Stormguards or the Deathless Ones. All she needed was the perfect moment to hit the cat on the right spot; a moment when it was turning around not seeing her, a moment when it wasn’t totally aware of where she was. It was all about making a mistake and who will make it first.

The cat did and Lara didn’t hesitate, seeing her chance to earn her right to stay alive; sent her arrow into the spotted body without hesitation and knew she was successful when the growling became weaker and hinted pain. And even if the jaguar did not give up, used every drop of its strength to try to kill her; one last strike with its paw, but only hitting the air, one last try to jump, but the muscled legs stumbled under the heavy body, not following the command and finally the cat fell to the ground, lifeless.

For a moment the jungle was silent. It was like every resident was witnessing this fight and favoured the jaguar – the odds were with the predator after all. But when the former ruler of the territory fell on the ground defeated and dead and Lara was still alive, standing in the glory of victory, it was a clear sign of a new ruler, ready to conquer the jungle, ready to defeat every barrier, ready to take every test. And she won’t go away just like that and leave her business unfinished.

Every adventures of hers added something more to her personality, every fight she won, every life she took evolved her into something marvellous. A living, breathing unearthly creature, something Jacob couldn’t really describe, but respected deeply, even feared it. She wasn’t afraid of her, more like fascinated, admired her strength and power. This queen, this emperor of life and death. And who knew what this jungle had in its pocket for them?

Hiding her pain, Lara slowly walked to Jacob and lift the heavy block up, let him climb over, but didn’t talk to him or even look at him. She was hard and cold – it was her habit to handle stressful and painful situations, be it emotionally difficult or physically. It was a mask, something the Goddess from moments ago left behind. A reminder of what she was capable of, what strength she had inside her. Finding his way under that mask was still something Jacob needed to work on with her; not to hide her pain, not to be ashamed to ask for help. Not to be ashamed to have emotions.

But it looked life Lara was ashamed because of her feelings.

He could try to talk to her, but knew it was useless. Probably Jonah would try it, even if he knew the same thing as Jacob. Seeing how she raised her crafted knife into the air and stabbed it into the carrion to skin it, it was the best if he let her. Give her time to calm down and collect herself.

~

Hours later, when the sun settled and night came Jacob sat next to the fire with Lara at her side. She was still distant and awfully silent, busy with sewing the skin together in her lap. Looked like planned to make some kind of camouflaging piece of clothes – and apparently sewing wasn’t her strong trait. It will serve its purpose though.

The jungle wasn’t very peaceful at night either – it surprised him. In Syria and in Siberia the nights were always very calm and eerily silent – animals were out there, but mostly hunting and they did that in a complete silence. Not here – the noises were different from the daytime, but they were still there as a clear sign the nocturnal animals were out and the humans were clearly outnumbered.

Something caught his attention in the corner of his eye, making him look at the direction where it came from; it was Lara, breaking her monotone movement as she tried to escape from the uncomfortable feeling in her back, poked over her shoulder to check the wound up.

It was time to have a look on that wound finally.

He didn’t need to say a word – when Jacob stood up and she looked at him, a short but firm stare was enough for her to retreat and let him tend to her. Without his Prophet powers, Jacob couldn’t really do more than grab the med kit and try his best to prevent infections. No matter how gentle he tried to be, she tensed up under his touch – she was clearly in pain.

Silly girl. If only she would let him to do this sooner.

Despite knowing what she was capable to do, despite seeing her surviving Jacob still felt this fear deep inside him. Even the greatest fighters reached their end once. Genghis Khan, Alexander the Great, every emperor of the Roman Empire… one day Lara will find something she cannot defeat or escape from it and Jacob was afraid that day will come sooner than later if she keeps pushing like this. He wasn’t sure he would survive losing her.

Memories hit him hard. Jacob was sick of being unable to be there for the ones he loved and see them dying, while he was a helpless mess. Seriously thought after being a mortal this problem will be gone, but apparently, it didn’t. The only difference his enemy was not the time itself, but Lara’s stubbornness.

She still strongly believed she needed to solve every problem by herself. Alone. But there was a point when she couldn’t take any more weight on her shoulders, but still was too stubborn to ask for help.

Suddenly the urge to hug her close to him was there, demanding to do it, no matter what. He resisted, because it would be extremely painful for her with her deep wounds. Instead of that he gently touched the other part of her back, felt how heat was radiating from her. She turned her head a bit, tried to look at his face, but unable to do it properly, hissing a bit from the punishing pain.

“I thought you will die there.”

Hearing how weak his voice was Lara wanted to answer, say something, but when she opened her mouth to speak, Jacob continued.

“Seeing you being injured and in pain and all I could do was watching it… it reminded me to my life before I met you. When I was immortal and everyone whom I loved slowly died around me, while I lived on and I couldn’t do anything to stop it.”

Slowly turned back toward the fire Lara let him speak. He shared small bits about his past before, but not everything, they were far from that yet. It was too painful for him, often said he did far too many mistakes and it was hard to talk about them.

“I had a family, when I found the Shroud. Brothers, sisters, parents… When I had to flee from the city I was forced to leave my parents behind, but some of my siblings came with me and I slowly lost them, one after another over the years. And I was still the same on the outside, cursed to live forever, but inside I was dying. It was too painful to bear. I thought if I will be a great leader, if I will give a home to my people, who believed in me and followed me, I still can heal, but everything I touched just died.”

He took a moment to calm down his racing heart, to collect himself. These were still very painful memories.

She turned with her body a bit, pushing the pain out of her mind, looked at him, reached up to gently touch him. Her voice was no more than a whisper now. “You can’t protect everyone.”

Jacob looked right into her eye. “But I should protect _her_. I should protect Sofia, but my creatures destroyed her and the City and countless souls with it. I swore I won’t do the same mistake twice, but then came Alaya… and when I thought I was dead inside for years and my daughter was the only light in my life, I’ve got a new chance and I met you. And I am still unable to protect you, no matter if I am immortal or not, no matter how long I have lived, how much I have learned, I still make the same mistakes over and over again.”

Watching him in such pain wasn’t among her favourite experience. He tried hard, maybe way too hard to protect people around them. And Lara wasn’t the perfect candidate for it either. Maybe he needed someone else, someone who wasn’t like her, wasn’t always after the danger and wanted nothing more just peace and to live at a nice place with him at her side?

Would it be too hard to try to find her peace finally? Too hard to let all these adventures go for a bit – just a bit – and enjoy the life she could have with him or keep live like this, pushing him to places where he was always in fear or doubt and while she was busy leaving her mark life just runs forward next to her and in the next moment when she looks up she is just old and alone, missing everything out what she could have?

She didn’t want to miss her life with him, she didn’t want to wake up one day and realizing years passed and she lost everything what should be important to her. It happened with her father – she didn’t want to happen to her too.

“After my father died a friend of the family, Roth, took me in. He was like a second father to me, I learned everything from him. He was in the team when I went to Yamatai. He was there because of me. And he died there because of me. The Dragon Triangle was my idea, I was eager to make my mark in the world, to have my great discoveries and didn’t even think about the price of it. I’ve lost many friends on that island. And even the ones I managed to keep alive or saved don’t want to see me anymore. I only had Jonah. And now you.”

Leaned closer to press her forehead against his, her hands sled to the back of his neck.

“We were both blindly driven and lost too much Jacob, but we have each other now.”

He let out a breath, heavy with emotions, reaching out for her, his grip was strong on her shoulder. She really wanted to keep this promise of hers.

Didn’t know how long they stayed like this, holding each other, afraid if they let go they will just drift away and unable to find each other again.  Five minutes? Ten? Maybe more? Who knows. When his grip loosened on her shoulder, she also let him go, straightened herself up and let him finish bandaging her.

His confession made her think, his words echoed in her mind, replaying his sentences as she stared into the fire. Breaking away from the flames, gave him a long, thoughtful look, maybe too afraid to ask her next question.

“Dominguez said that he would use the Silver Box of Ix Chel to remake the world.” started slowly, observing his reactions, how he bended a bit forward poking the fire to give it some oxygen.  “If you had that power, what would you do?”

Leaning back, Jacob let out a long sigh, thinking about his answer. “Probably nothing.”

Nothing? This wasn’t the answer Lara expected.

“You wouldn’t go back to when you found the Source and just… leave it there?”

He let out a deep chuckle. “And re-done everything what happened since that moment? No. I made mistakes and I did wish to re-done them, to restart, but putting everything together, no. Everything I love is existing in this world and not in the past. Not in the ‘what if’ scenarios. Sofia and you live now and I want to be part of that world where my girls are.”

In the middle of the jungle, after a plane crash and two jaguar attacks, being mauled and in pain, Lara was still able to pull out her brightest smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo... God it was difficult to write this one, I was a bit lost what I wanna represent over here, but then I figured it out. Also I cut Jonah out of this piece, because I couldn't do anything with him, so bye Jonah, you stayed in a safe place instead of getting on that plane xD (Also the "others" mean Lara and the pilot - the pilot is sadly being eaten.)
> 
> \- The jungle itself. A brand new environment, totally different than the prev ones before. The jungle is a really crowded place with full of life and everything wants to eat you - not just the obvious predator, like the jaguars, but insects too, hell even the plants as well. I am not really fond of the jungle - hot, humid, things get under my skin to feed on my organs and blood, poisonous plants and venomous animals, definitely not a human friendly environment. And Jacob never saw this before, it is a totally new experience for him. But being as calm as he is I am pretty sure he'd be fascinated by the jungle and deeply respect it, never underestimating it. He should read Kipling's book first I guess xD
> 
> \- Lara realizing she cannot go forward like this, not anymore. When she started she thought there is nothing she can loose - well, after returning from Yamatai. After that adventure no-one really liked to be with her anymore and she was overly curious what the world has for her. But now with the chance to have a family with Jacob - not necessarily meaning she will have a kid with him, but she can settle down with him and finally enjoy life again and be happy - makes her re-think her decisions. Does she really wanna live and die like this? Or she is allowed to enjoy some peace with him at her side? They both deserve it, the question is if she is ready for that too.
> 
> \- Jacob is opening up about his past. He still did not tell a lot about it to Lara, way too much painful memories and the fear she will look at him differently if she can see what mistakes he did. But he is very scared he will loose Lara too and he cannot stop it so maybe if he shares his past experiences with her and be honest with her, he can show her how this life, how chasing perfection won't solve anything. She won't bring her father back if she solves every mystery on Earth and put her life constantly in risk - she is only throwing her lfie away, while she could do so much more and be so much more happier as well.


End file.
